On Finding Confidence

feminine edge

Last week I was invited to a blogger meet up with some local ladies, and it brought up a lot of thoughts around confidence and personal growth for me. I talked about carving out my own space online for years. But despite knowing that this is what I wanted to do, I made lots of excuses and focused on other things that were safe. I was afraid of being judged. Afraid of being transparent, and open. Maybe even afraid of succeeding. But recently, something changed. Something inside me started brewing and fighting to be more authentic and less fearful of failure. Was I finally finding confidence?

socal bloggers

I would love to pinpoint what exactly game me the confidence to move forward with this blog, but the truth is that it is likely a very complex mixture of all the things. Being over 30. Becoming a mom. Having a support system. Reading Big Magic . Having an opportunity to take a beat from a 9-5, reading Big Magic , again.

But mostly it was realizing that we have this very short life and that we owe it to ourselves to get out there and follow our hearts. And then I had an Oprah “aha” moment when a friend, after I’ve been confiding to her for months about being scared said, “Alina, no one really cares.”

She didn’t mean no one cares about me, just that no one really cares whether I’m doing the thing that I want to be doing. No one stays awake at night wondering whether I should be doing it. Just me. Sometimes, we are our own worst critics and our own worst enemy.

This isn’t to say that I am now super confident and have no doubts. Because that wouldn’t be true at all. There are days when I feel silly, days when I wonder why I am writing and blogging at all, and days when I wonder if this is just another project I started that I will eventually abandon.

It’s also incredibly hard not to compare. Hard not to dwell or be negative. Hard to avoid measuring your success by others. But there are days when I am really proud of the content I’m putting out. And also, incredibly  touched by messages, texts, calls, and comments I receive from you guys, reading.

I’m so grateful for everyone who takes a few minutes out of their week to visit my blog, and then to also reach out. It means so much, especially when I’m having one of those days.

That’s why the old me would have never gone to a meet up for bloggers. I am hardly able to say, “I am a blogger,” without following it up with a dismissive comment, or making a joke. But turns out, I am a blogger who went to a very nice event, with a very sweet group of women who fearlessly all shared their own fears and insecurities.

Thank you for going on this journey with me. I’m incredibly excited for all the wonderful things on the way and all the great opportunities and open doors that I have pushed my way through. Cheers to following your passions.

Here are a few photos from the SoCal Bloggers meet up

socal bloggers

socal bloggers

//I wore this dress [ currently 40% off] and my fave motto jacket [ similar], and my new booties [ similar] —Wearing things that you feel confident in is half the battle isn’t?//

Shop the look below
 

//The SoCal blogger event was sponsored by some lovely local shops. The delicate flower arrangements were made by Perfect Petals and Decor, the gluten-free and ultra cute desserts were created by Sensitive Sweets, and Soft Goods provided the amazing space. Sandra from Charmed Crown Blog and Taylor from Uniquely Taylor Made were our gracious hosts. Photography of the event provided by Faye Claire//


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9 Comments

  • Reply Anonymous November 10, 2016 at 4:01 PM

    OMG! I’m so with you on everything you said! You reached out to me today to leave a lone comment on my brand new blog and it made my day! I’ve also for years (I’ve been a SAHM for 10 yrs now) wondered what I should do with my life and “free time” and my biggest fear now is that this (blogging and IG) will be another dropped project! I am confident in some ways but insecure in others – I haven’t told my friends and family about it because I fear judgement and ridicule. I don’t feel like I’m a proper blogger – when does one feel that? How many follows, subbies, comments, likes? Is it a matter of time? A year? Thank you for letting me pour my heart out here!

    • Reply ... besos, ALINA December 7, 2016 at 8:17 PM

      Thank you for your sweet message. I’m. So glad my words resonated with you! Stop by again soon!

  • Reply Bloggers Meet & Greet – Uniquely Taylor Made October 20, 2016 at 11:25 AM

    […] girls that joined us, Alina, and Karen were just encouraging. I loved meeting them, hearing their unique stories and […]

  • Reply Fanny Ngayan October 18, 2016 at 11:14 PM

    Suerte Alina!

    • Reply ... besos, ALINA October 19, 2016 at 6:25 AM

      Thanks Fanny!

  • Reply Jannine October 18, 2016 at 10:40 AM

    Good for you Alina! It takes a lot to for things to finally click and know that you need to do this for you, because like you said, you’re the only one being kept awake at night by not doing it, and no one is really going to get up in a stink about it if you do do it. Do it for you, do it for your own happiness <3

    xo Jannine | http://www.happystylishfit.com

    • Reply ... besos, ALINA October 18, 2016 at 5:56 PM

      Thanks so much for the encouragement, Jannine!

  • Reply SANDRA October 18, 2016 at 9:21 AM

    Great post Alina, couldn’t have said it better myself! So excited for what’s to come 🙂

    • Reply ... besos, ALINA October 18, 2016 at 5:57 PM

      Thanks so much, Sandra. I’m super excited as well!

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